I read a Writers Digest article (available through the No Rules blog I follow) titled What Readers want from Self-Published Books. One thing they want is a quality look - don't rush to get your book out there, the article advised. This made me feel better because if seems like I'll never get something up there. But if it was worth writing, it's worth presenting well. That's why I hired the editor and the artists. For the next two weeks I'm spending most of my time writing Apparently Dead, because publishing and marketing activities can really eat into that time. It's harder to write than to market or publish. I'm writing tonight, and I don't look forward to slogging through the morass my book seems to have become. What a sticky mess.
I last wrote Sunday. I wrote a stream of consciousness inside Julian's head to get at what he's thinking regarding Malinde, plat-eyes, etc. Sunday night after watching Dangerous Liaisons, I remembered Julian has to come at this from a point of strength and command because that's who he is. Julian's not introspective, open minded, or humble. He's arrogant and has a sense of entitlement. He means well, but he's a prick. Since he's a main character in Bloodroom and The Bad Death, continuity in Apparently Dead is key. Now that I've written his every vulnerability, I have to write his way back out of it. There comes a point in writing every novel when I wonder if my imagination has created a story outside the scope of my abilities. That is when I have to put my head down and march on like a good soldier till I get past that moment. Because -- really -- who else can finish this? I started it.